During my time as Editor of Short Fiction, we’ve received some interesting covering letters (emails) with submissions. As a salutary lesson of how not to approach a literary journal, I thought I’d share some with you.
- I'm delighted to say I've chosen you to publish my short story.
- Hello, I'm [name redacted]. I've always wanted to be a writer. In fact I would say it's my destiny.
- Obviously I would prefer one of the bigger journals publish my story, but...
- (From the U.S.) Hello you limey bastard.
- Please tell me how much you will pay me for my story.
- Do you publish novels?
- I think there's a gap in the market for vampire fiction set in the modern world.
- I am seven-years-old and have been writing stories all my life.
- How long is a short story?
- I look forward to working with you...
- Please respond to my Linkedin request.
- Bear with me...
- You are about to read one of the greatest ever short stories.
- I need no introduction, but here's one anyway.
- Here's a story for you to reject.